Why a man speaks but does not do: psychologist Pavel Rakov explains

Men promise – women constantly remind about it. And in the end they become spouses-saws who are always dissatisfied with everything.

However, the ladies have their own good reasons to point out the once spoken words. The fair sex is more responsible, therefore they prefer not to give anyone extra hope. If a girl says “no”, then this means exactly “no”, but not “maybe”, “later”, “come on, conquer me”.

Ladies are more specific in their desires, no matter how they are attributed otherwise. Therefore, they often fall into the trap of the principle “I measure people by myself”. However, gentlemen very often play a game called “The man gave his word, the man took his word back.”

And here it is worth understanding why they do it. It depends on how much you can trust one or another representative of the stronger sex, says Pavel Rakov, an expert on the Belnovosti online publication, a psychologist, coach, and creator of the cult training “I’m actually smart, but I live like a fool.”

1. He doesn’t love you

You can live with a man, be married to him, give birth to three children for him, but when love passes, so do the fulfillment of promises. And why try once again for the sake of the one that you don’t even want to look at? This, of course, raises a question from another area. And why, in this case, does he not admit to cooled feelings? Because either he considers his spouse a convenient woman (see paragraph 10), or he is afraid to hurt her with his own words, looking for the right moment to part.

2. He is a dexterous manipulator

Yes, there are very clever manipulators among gentlemen. They promise to work on the relationship, so long as the beloved does not leave. Or they say that they will definitely nail the shelf and take out the garbage so that the wife finally falls behind and feeds her dinner.

One way or another, they always get their way, and after … After that, you can forget about promises, because the goal was not to fulfill it! At the same time, a little later, you can put all the blame on the woman: she didn’t finish watching, she pissed off, washed down, didn’t remind.

3. He is the usual irresponsible type

No matter how old an adult is, sometimes at heart he is a real boy who wants to have fun, play, frolic, but not keep promises. This phenomenon has a name – infantilism, that is, the inability to take responsibility for one’s words and actions.

Let someone else do it, but not him! Okay, but then why do such men still make promises? Would be silent or forced to perform someone else immediately. It’s simple: it’s better to promise that the woman will fall behind and let her calmly finish the game, drive to football, drink foam with friends.

4. He is prone to frequent mood swings.

Yesterday he promised to play with the children and take them to the zoo? And today he abruptly changed his plans and went to help his friends make repairs? Well, this is such a person – with a constantly changing mood. As a rule, such a man is not interested in the lives of others, he is used to indulging his desires. The routine scares him, clear goals kill all the fun and positive. Perhaps for the sake of work and earnings, he will keep his seven Fridays in the week, but for the sake of his inner circle – definitely not.

5. He wanted to impress

A man in the candy-bouquet stage sometimes does not look like himself. His desire to make a lasting impression on a woman can lead to great difficulties.

The gentleman promises mountains of gold, if only his beloved smiled and clapped her hands with joy, like a girl. But often he does not have the opportunity to keep his word. To forgive such behavior or not is up to you.

6. He got sick

This is indeed a good reason not to fulfill the promise on time. When a man is sick, he is unlikely to be able to do physical or mental work.

In this case, it is worth understanding and forgiving. However, watch to see if there is a spike in chronic illnesses during the period in which he gave any word. If this happens regularly, then, perhaps, we are talking about a manipulator (see paragraph 2), who skillfully covers up his mistakes.

7. He only uses you for intimacy.

Representatives of the stronger sex always classify girls into two types – for love and for sex. In the latter case, the word may not be kept.

What difference does it make what another lady thinks, necessary solely to satisfy physiological needs? One will leave – in her place there will always be another, with whom the man will do the same.

8. He broke up with you

When a couple decides to leave (even if not final), the man automatically removes all promises from himself. This is not his woman now, so let her solve her own problems.

Sometimes there is manipulation of breakups, when quarrels and serious conflicts with subsequent departure are used to do nothing. And then you can return to your partner completely reset and promise something else. Until the next parting.

9. He is a pathological dreamer

No, no, yes, such people are found on the life path of women. They are pathological dreamers who both promise and fulfill in their heads. But all these processes are usually mental, with the only difference that the first is necessarily voiced.

And you don’t have to report about the second one, because in the visions of such a man (by the way, indistinguishable from reality) everything is ready! And he took his beloved to a concert, and helped to do the cleaning, and checked the lessons with the children, and walked the dog.

10. He thinks you’re a woman of convenience.

There is no love, sex is satisfactory, but the man does not go anywhere? He is simply comfortable with you, especially if you fully serve him at home, and even financially help.

In fact, you play the role of a silent and free servant and, perhaps, a beautiful addition to his majestic person. So you can promise, but the master is not obliged to fulfill his words. And a comfortable woman will endure, endure and forgive.